How to Avoid Temper Tantrums from Toddlers, Adults and Everybody Else

You're busy rushing around, trying to get everything in. You run into the grocery store to pick up a few things you need to make dinner, and all of a sudden your toddler is throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of the cereal aisle in the grocery store. You know that everyone is staring at you and thinking about what a terrible parent you are.

What can you do about temper tantrums?

Generally speaking, you should ignore the tantrum, every time it happens, even if it happens at the grocery store. You do not want to reward bad behavior. I know this is so much easier to say than do. Realize that not everybody who is looking is thinking that you are a bad parent. Some are thinking "I'm never having kids," while others are thinking, "I'm glad my kids are at home" or "I'm glad my kids have outgrown this phase." Some may even be feeling bad for you.

Practically speaking, you don't want to deal with this in the middle of a store, so it is perfectly all right to pick the child up, and deal with it however best you can, maybe even leave the groceries and take them home.

You don't want to deal with temper tantrums, because they cause stress and embarrassment. What if I tell you that there is a way you can avoid them. Just make them disappear all together. It is possible, but it will require diligence on your part. I found the extra effort to be worth it for the peace of mind that it gave me.

I am not saying it is your fault that the temper tantrum took place, but by doing these things, I found that I practically eliminated temper tantrums. I think these tips will work for you too, but of course I cannot guarantee that.

Part of the reason your kids have temper tantrums is they feel your stress, and it makes them feel powerless or out of control. If you manage your time so that you can do things in a calm manner, you will find that your kids are much calmer. They will feel your calmness and will be calm as well. Instead of trying to do too much, you prioritize your time and do the things that are important.

It is possible that spikes and lows in blood sugar levels can cause extreme behavior. If the child is hungry, they might get cranky and more likely to have a temper tantrum. Likewise, if they have a lot of energy, they might have the patience to sit quietly or wait for you to run your errands. Be sure to keep healthy snacks on hand for such an occasion - I kept a bowl of Cheerios in my purse.

I noticed that the biggest cause of my daughter's temper tantrums was that I was cutting into her nap time. Since she could no longer fit into the shopping cart in a sleeping position, she would have to wait until she got home to sleep. I learned that, no matter how I had to twist my schedule around, I needed to be sure that she was able to sleep when it was her nap time. As difficult as that was, I had to keep reminding myself that this sacrifice was temporary. Soon she would outgrow her naps, and my schedule would be freer.

Sleeping on time at bedtime is also very important, and I had to make sure she was home to sleep every night on a timely basis as well. Since this wasn't in the middle of the day, it was a little easier to manage, but bedtime has to be managed for a lifetime.

Having a consistent schedule also helped to make sure that she wouldn't throw a tantrum because it was time to sleep. I found that it was helpful for me to do things she would consider boring when it was time to sleep, so she would not feel like she would be missing out on something exciting while she slept.

A child gets frustrated because they do not have the proper vocabulary with which to express herself. When there is a calm moment, talk with the child and explain to her that temper tantrums are not acceptable. Tell her that she gets cranky because she is not getting enough sleep, and you are going to make sure from now on she gets enough sleep. Then, give her words she can use to replace the temper tantrums. She can tell you she is angry, that she wants something.

At the store, when she asks for something, explain your reasoning why she can't have it instead of simply saying no. she doesn't have to agree with the reason, but knowing that you have one will usually help her calm down. As long as you are honest and not contradictory, I found that my toddler accepted any reasoning once she knew that I knew she wanted something and had considered her request. "This item has too much sugar. I don't want you to have too much sugar because it is not healthy for you," or "I don't have the money right now to pay for this," or "We are only buying the things we need for dinner right now; I'll buy this for you we'll do grocery shopping this weekend." all worked for me. Your mileage may vary.

By explaining your position, you are using the shopping trip to teach her values and money management skills. Explaining the reasoning also helped in future decisions during that and future trips. Since she knew that the rule, "we are only buying the things we need for dinner," she wasn't as adamant about other things she wanted in the store during that trip.

I have found that adults get tired and cranky when they are stressed as they rush around trying to get things done. They don't eat well, and get cranky because they are hungry. They also get cranky because they try to fit so much into their day that they don't get enough sleep. It actually is a bigger issue with adults, because people don't give them the same excuses as they give children. If someone says something irritable, people aren't going to say, "ooh, she's tired." They will likely consider this a permanent opinion, and this can cause rifts in friendships and even destroy family relationships.

For children and for adults, if you take care of yourself by eating at regular intervals and getting enough sleep, you will find that the temper tantrums will go down, and the stress level will go down accordingly. The quality of your life will go up, as you find you are more productive while working, and more patient with people.